


Too old for this shit!

by Mitsuky



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M, Old Age, Old Dovahkiin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 08:16:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17577200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mitsuky/pseuds/Mitsuky
Summary: An old Dovahkiin, Vyrfeah (5087 years old for those interested on the details), is a Snow Elf that tries to go back to her homeland when feeling nostalgic but gets trapped in all the civil war bullshit.





	Too old for this shit!

 

Vyrfeah has seen her fair share of stuff in her long life, the rise and fall of civilizations, the birth and death of kings as well as gods, even the destruction of vast lands.

But this took the cake for sure.

Right now, in front of her very eyes sat the world eater, Alduin. Wasn’t this sorry excuse of an oversize lizard defeated by the Nords a while ago?

This Nords couldn’t even kill a dragon godling for sure… _Sigh_

A dunmer kid killed those fakers of the Tribunal and then a cute little breton kid kicked Dagon on his ass back to Oblivion. If they could defeat Gods then why can’t this Nords take care of the _son_ of one?

While the kids run around her like headless chickens she puts on her big-girl panties and burns off the binds the soldier tied her hands with and avoids other falling debris that the scaly nightmare summoned with his shout.

If they couldn’t differentiate between the thief in rags and a traveler in a fine dress when the soldiers detained her then she clearly has to deal with this gargantuan menace by herself because the imperials and nords obviously received one too many wacks to the head and can’t think properly.

Avoiding flammable proyectiles while divesting the body of the nearer person to protect yourself is harder than it may sound, but in the end she manages to strap the leather on her body and grabs an iron dagger on the way just to be sure.

She walks over one stone arch just before it comes down on her head with fire and the collapsed wooden around it, not far back from her is a blond lad in the brown-blue armor, from their right another soldier in brown-red armor appear and both start shouting at each other. Right. There.

The midnight dragon is flying around, breathing fire, killing people, but they find the time to bicker about how their own faction is better blah blah blah.

Grabbing both of them from the scruff of their necks she hauls them with more strength than necessary and throws them into the closest building who is actually the keep. The dragon tries to burn them before she closes the door but a wide custody well placed keeps the fire away and a shot of her strongest lightning spell makes the lizards grunt in pain while she closes the door behind her.

Inside, the lads looks at her with dumbfounded expressions.

“Close your mouths. Do any of you know a way out? I’d prefer to avoid that nightmare out there if at all possible.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Yes, the keep has an emergency rute out of here.”

They share a surprised/angry look and seems like they’re about to start another squabble that Vyrfeah stops with a millennia of practice of stopping kids from throwing tantrums, after all she raised two kids of her own and helped with many more on her travels.

They fight and she scold them, but they’re good at following orders. In no time they’re out of the cave, Alduin flies over their heads to the north and they walk together to the closest city to rest.

She’s offered a place to sleep and food and in exchange she delivers the news to the Jarl so they can properly protect Riverwood in case the dragon attacks.

Vyrfeah stands in front of the second dragon she’s witnessed in four millennia and curses whoever decided that she’d made a good Dragonborn, and Auri-el most than anyone else. She’s never been an overly religious kind of woman, not even when she married a priest of Auri-el, but this was a bit much for a punishment even from the Divines.

She only wanted to visit the land where her only children lived and died before traveling to far away lands.

Damnation.

***

“Lydia darling, are you alright?” Vyrfeah asks from the prone form of the bleeding troll.

“What was that!?” Lydia shouts over the raging winds of the Throat of the World.

“Oh, the spell? A little something I’ve invented, nothing fancy mind you, is just a tweak I’ve made to one of the old Telvanni spells.” They start walking once more up the mountain and she misses the frown Lydia makes at the mention of magic “They like to- hemm, liked to put special focal stones on their towers to teleport there with only the movement of a finger, I’ve changed the spell a bit to teleport me a few steps in the direction I’m looking at. The shorter distance of my version makes the stone unnecessary and nothing can catch you if you can teleport out of the way like that so it’s pretty useful, took me a good decade because I was no expert on Illusion magic at that age mind you, but I did it. Ah finally, we’ve arrived.”

Arngeir, Borri, Wulfgar and Einarth are the so called Greybeards, they taught her _Ro_ and _Would,_ the new shout is like a variation of her teleport spell.

And after an awkward conversation that were she wasn’t supposed to know that Paarthurnax is a dragon - _That name makes it so obvious, seriously, wisest men my arse_ \- and she’s off to retrieve a horn from a tomb.

Once down at Ivarstead Lydia lets Klimmek know she deposited the sac for the Greybeards and runs back to Vyrfeah.

“I can’t believe he make you do that, that child, so lazy.”

“My Thane?”

“Why, on my days a nord as young as him fought against entire armies without flinching and today this one shies away from a meagle snow storm…” she shocks her head under the amused look of Lydia.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short story I wrote based on this prompt:  
> skyrimkinkmeme.livejournal.com/5232.html?thread=13410672#t13410672
> 
> I know the prompt was already answered but the muse attacked so I wrote my own thing. *shrugs*


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